A dear friend’s post sparked the following. Thank you Raegen for reminding me about vulnerability.
There is something to be said for the newness of a relationship (and no, this isn’t some declaration of something in my life. I’ve been listening to my music as I walk around and the tempo of some of the songs reminds me so much of the slow progression and the obsessive-like longing that often comes with the freshness of something new. And if you don’t know what I am talking about, oh how I hope you can. Or better yet, that you can think back to when it was tangible and find a way to grab it back.
Lately, I have been trying to find that same feeling in my life -that feeling that you and the other person are invincible; the power and confidence that comes with being absorbed into a reality that only exists for the few. But I am not sure that it is translating well.
Am I an idealist, a dreamer, totally irrational and forgetting the hard times that can come? Most likely.
But I have to remember the feeling and freshness and hold on to the possibility that it isn’t my last. Maybe I can one day find again that overwhelming sense of longing and needing someone to exist just so that you know you aren’t along for the ride in this world solo.
Maybe I’ve been ruined and/or spoiled by my past.
And I feel for the poor guy who comes next!
But really, it will be OK.
I doubt he will be anything other than a dreamer and nearly as ridiculous as I am in my thinking. It will make for years of debate.
